<jonathan> finally, I am a little more free. Missed a couple of nights of sleep in the process, but it was worth it.
I hear someone's mad at me for not responding to sms....I am not going to bring this onto the net. I think it is pointless. I will say it face to face....voyeurs can log off now...
I am trying to manage my time now; alot to do, and I have to go to OZ in a few weeks. To tell you the truth, I don't really want to go. I would rather stay here, because I am at peace with the world around me as a whole. I have no issues to be running away from, no escapist tendencies here, not to my knowledge anyways. I have always made it a point never to pretend. Enough of that in the world around me. I would rather just be jon chan, not some fellar in a movie going off to another western country to 'find himself'. I suppose Kevin Costner in Dances With Wolves was as escapist as they come.
I have an asian face, an asian body, and an asian sense of being, without the accents. That is a part of upbringing. My native/mother tongue IS english, so no, I am not pretending. My first words were in english. All the little ah bengs in my school thought I was putting on airs and speaking in decent english. isn't that how we always see the world, "everyone should be speaking chinese/ hokkien/dressing like me, no matter how bad I actually look!"
I wear jeans or shorts because I was born in the 1970s. Not in the 1870s. I wear stuff that is modern because I would look stupid wearing cultural clothes everyday, and if I did, everyone would probably think 'He's just looking for attention...'
Why all these questions?
I am putting thoughts down now to clear my mind and to check myself before entering into the fray of untangling a web of confusion.
To work! To work!
call a meeting soon! I am sick of waiting. It's time for a showdown! </jonathan> <!--1:16 AM-->
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