crysknife
Music....makes the people...come together.....yeah.....

16.1.03

<jonathan> It's been a few days and I am trying to recover. Am still sick, this time with a suspected inner ear infection. That comes from the flu', an add-on that rarely happens to me. a days ago, the cab driver taking me to the REAL place from Henderson office was driving very jerky, and in circles, so I felt carsick, but even AFTER I got off the cab, I was pale. Gordon was shocked to see my complexion. On the way home that night (the last time I left the house), the nausea struck again, so I actually got off the bus and Yen ran to get me water and sour 'kana' which helps me feel better during motion sickness. It's funny; on a plane I'm fine. At sea with 9 foot waves, EVERYBODY else was doing the merlion, while I ate nasi lemak in a storm. But put me in a car, and off I go! Last nite was spent stoning on the couch. didn't want to stand up in case I sprayed! I actually put an empty plastic container next to me in case of emergency!

How does that happen you may ask?
Your inner ear is that part past your regular ear that leads to this chamber inside your head. You've seen liquid-filled compass'? There is a compartment in your head that's much like that, which helps you determine your sense of direction as well as your ground-ing; how do you tell if you're hanging upside down? You feel it going off, not just from the visual thing about everything looking topsy-turvy, but this little pit in your head says so. while I am only a little light headed, the jar of liquid inside my head is doing the ketchup('kacau'/'kechot') dance.

Have to miss first nite of the retreat! Dang!

Will I stay home,
a)bored out of my mind, and watch Star Trek, or pull out my 'Godfather' LD. All 3 movies back-to-back/ in chronological order/ director's cut/ footage left out of the original screened version!

Or
b) lie down and try not to think of what's happening on Sentosa!

Just heard about problems between a friend of mine and some girls. He wants to sit-down and thrash it out. They want to keep it quiet and avoid the issue(polite term for 'run away').
With incidents like that, whenever a girl tells me that ALL girls tend to be more mature than guys, can't help but laugh in their faces. How many times have I run into girls who tell me the same thing and actually keep quiet, letting the issue boil over instead of talking it out like mature people would.
'What manner of people would we be, if we had not our reason?' Issues are bound for repetition until we learn to stop acting like kids and grow up. We will never learn to deal with our issues until we sit down and learn to face them for the problems that they are. Instead of running away, and taking 'time outs' which are merely self delusion that there ARE no problems.
Jerome, if you are reading this, my respect for you has just grown after what you shared with me. You restore my faith in our friends! That's why God said to you He's gonna help you deal with the problem; because you won't run away and sweep it under the carpet.
If you got something to say, say it. If something needs to be dealt with by a little talking to, better you do it now, while the problem can be dealt with, than later when it's too big to talk about. Stitch in time saves nine and all that.
If not, easy for anyone to think "Grow up! You, and the horse you rode in on!" </jonathan> <!--11:47 PM-->

12.1.03

<jonathan> Had a sleep-in day today again. The medication has made me feel like a beached whale, just really *bleah*. with the stuff I'm on, it's funny; decoldine(flu pills) and cough syrup as well as some stuff I have never had before in my life, it's like a mishmash of sedatives. I quite literally sit there staring into space.
stayed in and relaxed. napped a little too long in the afternoon, but my folks are insisting that I sleep as much as possible at this stage. I gotta go in to the doctor on momnay morning for a quick check and to collect more prescriptions. I'm wondering why they don't just give me an inhaler, or one of those mini tanks with the face mask that I see in my athsmatic cousins' place. My dad says it's for chronic athsmatics only. Which is fine, I don't hink I have that, but my family are treating me as if I AM chronic, which is kind of funny as well. I appreciate the concern.

My wheeze/rattling when I breathe is down alot, but still, sometimes it doesn't feel natural to breathe, seems as if I have to pump myself hard in order to make my lungs work. What an annoyance. I actually didn't want to take the sleepy pilss the first night. My breathing was so labored that I imagined if I fell asleep, I would forget to breathe and suffocate.

The stuff I'm taking is such a strong mix that I only needed a few seconds to fall asleep, and curled in a very uncomfortable position at that. My body itself woke me up minutes later because with my legs curled in the position they were, my circulation stopped in my legs and the brain gave a quick jolt which woke me up. SO wierd!
am waiting for medication to take effect, which shouldn't be long. Nites folks.

soundtrack of the day:Small Victories, Faith No More.
I still want to get the 'best of Bjork' CD, as well as the 'best of Catatonia' one. First, i have to get out of the house.
</jonathan> <!--8:40 AM-->

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